In these diaries so far I have written about the beginning of my journey with anxiety and depression. In the diaries to come it's all going to be about where i'm at in my journey at that specific moment in time. In a way I want everyone to understand how much mental health ebbs and flows. It's never constant. The problems are never the same.
Acceptance is something I'm trying to practice right now. Acceptance of all my emotions, all my thoughts, and all the bad days that come with them. I guess I've always thought that I'm supposed to be happy all the time, that if I'm not happy then I can't enjoy certain moments. But that’s not realistic, no one lives a life like that.
Acceptance of things I cannot control. Death, what other people say about me, etc. There are many things that I am not in control of, things that bring me fear and anxiety when they really should have no power over me. Why would I hold onto something that I have no say over? Because I haven't accepted it. I find that once I accept these situations and the emotions that come from them, all the power they had over me goes away. Everything is easier said than done so… say it. When something happens to you and it's making you spiral, just say “I accept this for all that it is, and I will continue to live”. Acceptance of having no control makes you resilient.
There is a book I recently read that talks about how to get out of the trap of anxiety that you set yourself. It's called, “A Life at Last” by Paul David. To sum it up, when you feel anxiety, have scary constant thoughts, etc. let them be. They are there and no matter how much you try to talk yourself down or state positive thoughts in your brain, they will keep coming. Why? Because the more you try and cure your anxiety the more anxiety you will have. I understand what it's like going on every website, watching every video, talking to therapists, taking meds; just to try and feel better. And somehow it never completely goes away. The problem the whole time was that I was trying so hard to push something away or over-understand it and all I was doing was making it consume my life. Once I read just the first two chapters of this book I finally understood. Anxiety is going to come but it will also go. It's temporary, completely curable, but when we read into it and obsess over trying to make it go away we make it permanent. The only thing to do is accept it. Let it come, let it go. Let the voices in your head talk. Let your body sweat and your heart race. The more you accept and let it happen you will start to notice that it can’t affect you anymore.
I'm trying to acceptance. I no longer want to live trying to control the uncontrollable, including my own anxiety. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I can't shut my brain up. But that doesn't mean that I have to waste anymore time trying to, instead I'll live. I'll live and I'll enjoy all things even if my anxiety is there too.
Until next time,
Xo, Kennedy
Acceptance is something I'm trying to practice right now. Acceptance of all my emotions, all my thoughts, and all the bad days that come with them. I guess I've always thought that I'm supposed to be happy all the time, that if I'm not happy then I can't enjoy certain moments. But that’s not realistic, no one lives a life like that.
Acceptance of things I cannot control. Death, what other people say about me, etc. There are many things that I am not in control of, things that bring me fear and anxiety when they really should have no power over me. Why would I hold onto something that I have no say over? Because I haven't accepted it. I find that once I accept these situations and the emotions that come from them, all the power they had over me goes away. Everything is easier said than done so… say it. When something happens to you and it's making you spiral, just say “I accept this for all that it is, and I will continue to live”. Acceptance of having no control makes you resilient.
There is a book I recently read that talks about how to get out of the trap of anxiety that you set yourself. It's called, “A Life at Last” by Paul David. To sum it up, when you feel anxiety, have scary constant thoughts, etc. let them be. They are there and no matter how much you try to talk yourself down or state positive thoughts in your brain, they will keep coming. Why? Because the more you try and cure your anxiety the more anxiety you will have. I understand what it's like going on every website, watching every video, talking to therapists, taking meds; just to try and feel better. And somehow it never completely goes away. The problem the whole time was that I was trying so hard to push something away or over-understand it and all I was doing was making it consume my life. Once I read just the first two chapters of this book I finally understood. Anxiety is going to come but it will also go. It's temporary, completely curable, but when we read into it and obsess over trying to make it go away we make it permanent. The only thing to do is accept it. Let it come, let it go. Let the voices in your head talk. Let your body sweat and your heart race. The more you accept and let it happen you will start to notice that it can’t affect you anymore.
I'm trying to acceptance. I no longer want to live trying to control the uncontrollable, including my own anxiety. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I can't shut my brain up. But that doesn't mean that I have to waste anymore time trying to, instead I'll live. I'll live and I'll enjoy all things even if my anxiety is there too.
Until next time,
Xo, Kennedy
