I’m glad we never spoke about it. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time to text you about the same thing that has constantly been occurring. I’m glad I didn’t hear the same excuses you made everytime I brought up your lack of effort. It took a while for me to escape your rabbit hole of “I’m sorry” changing for a month then repeating your same actions. I'm glad I came to the realization of if you wanted to change you would have changed the first time.
We grew up, we didn’t grow with each other. We both valued different things and I wasn’t one of yours. Putting in the same amount of effort you gave me was one of the hardest decisions I made because I very much wanted to keep the little flame still burning before it eventually died out. Putting in the same amount of effort you gave me was one of the best decisions I made. During our distance I learned to enjoy the things that I loved that you didn’t without feeling shame by your silent judgment, I learned that I’m more radiant without the pressure of giving you the satisfaction you wanted, I learned that losing you gained me back. We loved each other as sisters, we argued like sisters, now I think of you as a stranger.
Looking at you from an outside perspective, I realized that you only ever cared about yourself and temporary things in your life rather than cherishing the support system we spent years building with each other, or the support system I spent years building for you. Our friendship was at its best when it was on your terms and convenient for you. I gave you all my energy at my lowest times when you couldn’t give me a smidge of that at your best. I constantly degraded my own self worth in hopes that you will see the wrong in your actions and change.
Not all our time spent with one another was sore. I enjoyed exchanging conversations with you after a long day of school, knowing you in a way we would only ever understand, trying to hide our laughter in class when we were instructed to stay silent, but most of all I enjoyed seeing you embrace your beauty I always knew you had since we were younger that you never saw yourself. I forgave your unforgiving actions of leaving me behind when I needed you the most so you can flaunt your new trophies for your social media to see, you threw me in your drawer of forgotten treasures that you will eventually return to once your new ones start to rust but I won’t be there for you when you get back.
You didn’t have to verbally say anything your actions gave me the closure that I needed. I feel at peace with myself knowing that I don’t have to be what you want me to be. Distance isn’t bad, it’s what we all need to help us grow in life so we can pursue happiness within ourselves. I'm glad I figured this out young but I wish it wasn’t with my best friend. I always wish you the best but not with me.
We grew up, we didn’t grow with each other. We both valued different things and I wasn’t one of yours. Putting in the same amount of effort you gave me was one of the hardest decisions I made because I very much wanted to keep the little flame still burning before it eventually died out. Putting in the same amount of effort you gave me was one of the best decisions I made. During our distance I learned to enjoy the things that I loved that you didn’t without feeling shame by your silent judgment, I learned that I’m more radiant without the pressure of giving you the satisfaction you wanted, I learned that losing you gained me back. We loved each other as sisters, we argued like sisters, now I think of you as a stranger.
Looking at you from an outside perspective, I realized that you only ever cared about yourself and temporary things in your life rather than cherishing the support system we spent years building with each other, or the support system I spent years building for you. Our friendship was at its best when it was on your terms and convenient for you. I gave you all my energy at my lowest times when you couldn’t give me a smidge of that at your best. I constantly degraded my own self worth in hopes that you will see the wrong in your actions and change.
Not all our time spent with one another was sore. I enjoyed exchanging conversations with you after a long day of school, knowing you in a way we would only ever understand, trying to hide our laughter in class when we were instructed to stay silent, but most of all I enjoyed seeing you embrace your beauty I always knew you had since we were younger that you never saw yourself. I forgave your unforgiving actions of leaving me behind when I needed you the most so you can flaunt your new trophies for your social media to see, you threw me in your drawer of forgotten treasures that you will eventually return to once your new ones start to rust but I won’t be there for you when you get back.
You didn’t have to verbally say anything your actions gave me the closure that I needed. I feel at peace with myself knowing that I don’t have to be what you want me to be. Distance isn’t bad, it’s what we all need to help us grow in life so we can pursue happiness within ourselves. I'm glad I figured this out young but I wish it wasn’t with my best friend. I always wish you the best but not with me.
